Fairytale Life
by TallerThanThou ShorterThanThou
Summary: OMG! Aizen has sold his soul to Pie and Demon-Pixie and now the authors are letting him curse the Bleach characters! Sequel to Sushi Wars. Please read. Flames are funny.
1. The Holy Jar

You remember from last time, in Sushi Wars, when Aizen dramatically burnt to death? Well, just before that happened, he sold his soul to Demon-Pixie and The Eville Pie. In return, they have decided to let him curse Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and the Human World.

Our sequel starts with a large clay, jar sitting in the middle of an insignificant room in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly, due to Aizen's curse, it split. That was not a good thing, seeing as the Jar contained Fairy Tale essence. You see, when it split, the material separating reality from fiction dissolved. I'm sure that you've read enough of our stories to know what that meant-complete and utter chaos. Let's get back to Soul Society, where our beloved torture victims…um…_friends_ are waiting for us.

Birds chirped away, and pooped on the occasional unsuspecting passersby. Sakura petals fluttered delicately in the wind and caused people to sigh in content as they thought about how pretty the fragile petals were…until they turned out to be blades from Senbonzakura (FEAR MY CHERRY BLOSSUMS OF DOOM). This peace was disrupted by a sudden warp in dimensions. When the Jar had spilt, the line separating fiction and reality had dissolved, as we've told you. That caused a new dimension-one that would drag you into a fairy tale without warning. After the tale was over, you'd be back. It was quite an interesting prospect, really, and one that would no doubt cause a clown imitating a sphinx* to run around with a large dissection knife. Our first victims…_volunteers_ today were (insert loud fan fare) Kuchiki Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo! Prepare for hell.

Both were having an extremely pleasant day. They had argued over 9999999 times, and then almost killed each other 9999999999999999 times. Afterwards, they had attempted to kiss but were interrupted by a very _happy_ Byakuya*. The warp opened up even more, and both were dragged in. And then they fainted.

When Rukia woke up, she had lost all her previous memories of Seireitei life.

"Wake up!" a crab called. Rukia sat up and regarded it with distain. With a flick of her amethyst tail (OMG! TAIL! WHERE?) encrusted with tiny scales, she lowered herself to the tiny crab's level. The nameless crab cowered. For some reason, Rukia was met with a strange urge to shout 'Shakahou'. Dimly, she remembered casting that particular spell and emitting a large red ball of flame. But she shouldn't, she mused. Rukia lived underwater, and all underwater creatures were instinctively afraid of fire. Wondering what insanity ailed her this time, the crab pinched her hard on the flipper and scattered off.

There was a concert that night, and though, never in her underwater life had Rukia been punctual, something told her that she was. Strange. Well, it couldn't hurt to miss another concert, even if her sister was going to kill her later.

A strange, magnetic pull pushed her towards the surface where a large party boat was. For some reason, she got the feeling that her life was being typed out on a computer screen. Wait…what the heck was a computer?

But anyways, all that trivial matter faded from her eyes as she saw an overgrown carrot. At first, she wondered how a vegetable could get that big. Then, it hit her that the 'vegetable' was actually a person. Suddenly, the whole boat collapsed. Yay, she thought as something pulled her towards the splashing carrot. Maybe, it was because that her life _was_ being typed out into a computer. Just maybe.

A/N: Da sequel is up!

Parody Thingy:

Pie: *sniffles over the ending of Fang*

Demon-Pixie: *stares at Pie like she's insane* PMS?

Pie: *shows ending to Demon-Pixie and cries some more*

Demon-Pixie: …who the hell is Fang?

Pie: WHAT THE FUCK THE WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN? FANG IS FANG! HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF FANG/MAXIMUM FOREVER? DAMN YOU! *pulls out Zanpakuto*

Demon-Pixie: *decides to let Pie be and not try to kill her for breaking the Caps Lock rule as it may result in possible pulverization* Yes, yes. Fang/Maximum forever in the land of unicorns and rainbows. *wonders: who the hell are these people?*


	2. The Little Mermaid that Cusses

"Hello," Rukia said as the carrot's eyes opened. The carrot stared. Rukia sighed. Where had she seen this carrot before?

"Do I know you?" the carrot asked. Rukia frowned. Of course not! It must only be a hallucination. She had lived underwater all her life, and there was no possible way that she could be associated with a human. Or was it the other way around? Was this all a dream and she was actually human? Besides, what was with the urge to say, 'Mai, Sode No Shirayuki?' Just as the thought entered her head, their surroundings began to melt. Soon, the unfortunate pair found themselves back in Soul Society.

"What the fuck was that?" Ichigo demanded. Rukia, still in shock, shook her head. She did not really want to know.

"No clue." It was then that they noticed something wrong. The warp hadn't closed. This was not a one time deal. Briefly, the wondered who was going next. Suddenly, Ichigo said,

"If we got out of there by just thinking about Soul Society, then can't we get out of here by thinking about Hueco Mundo?" And suddenly, the image of Soul Society melted away, leaving the two exasperated Shinigami standing in the middle of a desert. Rukia glared.

"Nice job, Strawberry. Now we're stuck in the middle of a desert. A fucking desert, damn it!" she yelled. Ichigo's mouth hung open as he tried to think of a good response.

"I didn't know the Little Mermaid cussed," he retorted. Instantly, he regretted it. A smirk appeared on the evil midget's face.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she screeched as she leapt unto Ichigo's back, refusing to let go. And that, dear readers, was how Byakuya found them. Suddenly, silence filed the desert, even the Hollow Lizards.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," said Byakuya with relish, probably glad he now had an excuse to kill his sister's boyfriend (read: overprotective), "you shall die a slow and painful death for hurting my pride."

Somewhere, an annoyed person sighed. Was 'my pride' all Byakuya said nowadays?

Indignantly, the Strawberry spluttered.

"I didn't hurt her! She was the one that jumped me…AAAHHHHHHH!" Sharp snaps followed. We shall assume incorrectly that it was just a Hollow lizard discovering that cactus did not make a good meal. Where was Rukia in the middle of all this? Why, she was in another dimension, that the other players were soon to join.

A/N: Sorry! We had to study and shit for the tests! They're over now so we can finally update!

Parody Thingy:

Pie: Hey, Demon-Pixie, what should we do for the next chapter?

Demon-Pixie: *whispers*

Pie: *nods* Okay. But I get to pick who they'll be.

Demon-Pixie: As long as I get to pick the rules.

Pie: *nods*


End file.
